3 years sober…. For a long time I questioned my drinking. I didn’t drink every day, but after losing my Mum, my drinking became much more frequent. My tolerance for alcohol had increased to a point where a couple of bottles of wine wasn’t enough. I would start drinking earlier, I drank fast, and would mix my drinks to chase the buzz of the first glass.
To the outside world, I looked normal. My children were well looked after, my house was always clean, and there was always a cooked meal on the table. But behind closed doors, my children were worried about me, and my mental health was at an all-time low. My evenings were filled with chaos, and my days were full of hangovers, exhaustion, dread, and self-hate.
I had tried to moderate my drinking so many times in the past, promising myself I would only have 1 bottle of wine, or I would only drink 1 night of the weekend…I would manage for a couple of weeks, then slowly it would creep back in, and the cycle continued.
At the beginning of June 2022, after I had turned my son’s 5th birthday into a booze-up and spent the following day unable to get off the sofa, I looked at my children and realised I needed to make a change. I took this before photo and sent a message to my closest friends and family to tell them that I had a problem with alcohol. I thought I was telling them something new - but they had all known for a long time, and their responses were filled with support and encouragement.
I began reading a book about alcoholism and made an effort to change my routines and to focus on getting (and staying) sober.
After 3 years, I can confidently say I have broken the habit. I no longer crave a drink. I face my feelings and emotions head-on without drowning them at the bottom of a bottle. Our house is happier, my relationship with my husband has never been stronger, and I’m more present for my children. My heart is still broken at the loss of my beautiful Mum, but I have realised that booze and grief do not mix.
Being an alcoholic doesn’t mean sitting on a park bench swigging neat vodka out of a bottle or needing a drink as soon as you wake up.
Here’s to the rest of my sober life and making my children and family proud xxx
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